Anger is not a positive practice for anyone. Have you seen that there are sad mothers about their children by thinking, why is my child so angry at school? There will be many reasons behind them. Anyway, it is essential to remove this bad practice from their lives when they are kids.
So, Why is my child so angry at school? Your child might get angry at school for many reasons, such as family issues, adults’ behaviors, and child depression. Further, problems at school, namely, bullying, school frustration. In order to help your kid, you may follow the strategies explained in this article, such as teaching coping skills, impose anger rules. Moreover, by making your kid do anger management activities, you can help your kid control and manage anger eventually.
Accordingly, I will discuss all the related information you should know about the way you can help your kids who get angry at school by giving answers to the questions; Why my child is so angry at school?, how can I identify my kid is frustrated about school?, how can I help my child with anger management?
And finally, I will give you some effective anger management activities for you to understand the anger of your kids well and to find effective solutions practically.
This will be a comprehensive post that covers all the relevant information. Therefore, I have listed the topics I discuss below. Please, feel free to jump straight to the section you want by clicking on the topic.
Let’s get started!
Table of Contents
Why is my child so angry at school?
Everyone has become angry, even for a minute in their lives. So, it is a normal, healthy emotion. But it creates many problems in life. It has to be withdrawn from all of us.
When focusing on the children, we can see that nowadays, many mothers are always complaining and asking, why my child so angry at school?
Therefore, it is very important to find an answer to this burning question and, let’s consider the reasons for their anger.
Bullying by the other kids
Bullying can be cited as the root of the anger of kids. Bullying and victims; are both filled with emotional inductive. The parents, teachers, and school administrators should be careful when the content is cruel, as teasing can be commonly found in schools.
Usually, the annoyer feels good. It is very important to involve the issue before it worsens.
As parents, it is your responsibility to teach kids about the strategies of dealing with difficult people. The nature of a person who bullies is feeling powerful when another person gets angry.
So, if the kid can be careless in front of them, their effort fails. Then you may not feel sad again by thinking, why is my child so angry at school?
It is also important to look at the home circumstances when a kid gets angry so much at school. The family may be a part of that problem. Four types of families unwittingly add the anger of a child at times. They are;
- The families that have problems such as financial distress, a parent’s addiction, grief, marital strife, mental illness, or other struggles
- The families that expect more from children; high grades, good at many sports and extracurricular activities
- The families which solve problems with hitting, shoving, pushing where the anger becomes the voice of power and control
- The families where constructive communication is low and are called frantic families
The depression in childhood
When there are crises at home, the kids can’t focus on good behaviors and school work. You may think that the symptoms of depression are; sadness, lethargy, loss of appetite, etc. But anger is also a sign of depression.
Therefore, parents should consider this issue if their kid gets angry at school. Do you know that there are many causes of childhood depression? Trauma, recent changes, and helplessness are some of them.
If you ignore these things, it will bring harmful results. Therefore, before asking why my child is so angry at school, pay attention to your child’s mental health.
The behaviors of adults
Adults want to concentrate on their behaviors in front of children because kids get examples from you more. As an example, if you yell at your spouse and or children, your child might also start yelling at everyone over everything.
Therefore, be aware of your behavior before pointing your finger at your child.
How can I identify my kid is frustrated about school?
You may wonder why my child is so angry at school? Have you ever thought that it will be because of their frustration about the school? Sometimes it will be the reason.
So, how can we identify that the child has been frustrated about the school? Here, I will provide you with some signs to identify that they have been frustrated about the school.
Accordingly, you might see that your kids;
- Just sitting quietly in the class without engaging and trying to do anything.
- Avoiding taking risks or trying new things that they may feel they will fail.
- Saying that they are uncontrolled over whether they will be succeeded at something
- Punching around to distract people from the things they do not do and the other kids.
- Saying that doesn’t matter how hard they work as they will not do well.
- Putting the responsibility on other people. As an example, “No one explained to me the direction.”
If this frustration continues, the kids may lose their motivation to keep trying. So, it is important to discover the causes of their school’s frustration and go to resolutions as soon as possible. Then you may not feel sorry about your kid saying; why is my child so angry at school?
How can I help my child with anger management?
Kids do not know how to deal with their emotions. As a result, they get so angry at school for many reasons. It is your responsibility to help them with anger management instead of worrying; why my child is so angry at school.
So, I will help you with that by giving some anger management strategies for you to help your kid.
Give examples from you about anger management skills
This is the best way to teach your kids to deal with anger. Show them how you deal with your emotions when you get angry. When they see that you lose your patience, they also do the same.
But if they could see that you cope with your anger more gently and kindly, they also follow the same. Here you can verbalize your feelings like, “I am very angry as that car doesn’t stop for kids to cross the road. But I will stop. Then they can safely cross the road.”
It will teach your children to talk about emotions. At the same time, you have to take responsibility for your behaviors if you lose your patience in front of your children. There you may discuss and apologize for what you did.
Establishing anger rules
There are unofficial family rules for most families to decide what behaviors are acceptable and what behaviors are not. As an example, some families never mind when doors are slammed, or voices are raised. But some other families do not tolerate such behaviors.
There you may create house rules for your house and display them so that everyone could follow them. There you can address name-calling, physical aggression, and the destruction of property.
Then they will understand that they can’t throw or break things even when they are out of patience.
Teaching healthy coping skills
Instead of saying things like, “Do not hit your sister,” you may explain the things they can do when they are frustrated. You can say that “Next time, instead of using your hand, use your words or go away from her if you are frustrated about her.”
Also, you can get the ideas of your kid so that you can help them to identify calm strategies they have.
And you may use time-out as a strategy to help him to calm down. Teach them that he can go away from many problems through time out and not hurry to go to destructive strategies to deal with anger.
Help them to differentiate feelings and behaviors
You can teach your kids the difference between feelings and behaviors by labeling their feelings. So, they will verbalize their angry feelings, disappointment, and frustration. You may say that “It doesn’t matter to feel angry, but it is not ok to hit anyone.”
Then they can identify the behaviors and feelings differently. Sometimes, the aggressive behaviors will be the result of various uncomfortable feelings.
So, if you help your kids to explore the reasons for their anger, they can learn to deal with both feelings and behaviors easily.
Anger management activities
All parents like to see to have an emotionally healthy and grounded future for their children. There you have to help them to understand and manage their emotions well.
Accordingly, I will propose the best anger management activities for your kids. These will help your child stay calm at school, and you don’t want to think why is my child so angry at school.
Discover the place where anger lives in your body
To discover this with your kid, you may discuss the anger signals of the body. When your kid understands the body signs activate along with the anger, it becomes a powerful hint for them to change their course. You can explore this by using a very simple activity.
Accordingly, ask them to draw and color the body parts where anger lives, generates, etc. They may draw their hands and mouth heavily to state that the anger explodes out of their hands and mouth by throwing toys or sometimes by making a loud voice.
It’s amazing to see the way they conceptualize their anger in a physical form.
Personifying their anger
Anger is unsettling for kids and often feels overwhelming. When your kid struggles to manage their anger, help your kid safely develop a visual depiction of their anger. This empowers the kid to separate as a person and from their anger problems.
Here also you can go to a simple activity. Accordingly, make a simple statement to your kid; “It seems that anger causes you lots of stress lately. How will it be if we give a name for your anger and draw a picture of what you are thinking the way it looks.”
So, as your kid sees the problem outside of themselves, they can objectively solve the problem by gaining greater insight into the situation or the problem.
Making a safe space for anger
Often anger exhibits physically for kids, and when it has a safe and soft landing place, it will go far to prevent aggression towards others and improve the behaviors of the kid at these times.
When your child is calm and regulated, you may discuss and create a safe landing space or chill-out corner with him. The place where your kid is comfy and practical at your home is the greatest place to start.
This is a simple activity that ties several major components of anger management for kids, and gets the concept that anger occurs in various degrees and severities.
To make an anger scale, you may use a simple drawing of an anger thermometer or a simple box graph shape. Both of them allow the kid to convince triggers for his anger and the way anger changes his features and facial expressions.
You may put 10 at the top and 1 at the bottom if you use the concept of the thermometer. It prompts your kid to think about the places and things that bring out frustration or anger and mark the place it falls on the scale.
Conclusion – How to help my kid who gets angry at school?
We have discussed how to help your kid who gets angry at school with more details and practical examples. I think this article will effectively work out for parents who regret it; why is my child so angry at school?
Anger is a normal, healthy emotion of a person. But it creates a lot of problems if it is not controlled. When talking about kids, they have various reasons to get angry at school like; bullying, family problems, and childhood depression, etc. But there are signs to identify that he is frustrated about the school.
You must help them to control their emotions like anger through effective anger management activities. Then your kid will be able to give better outcomes for the world through him.
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