As we all know, according to the old school method, yelling and hitting kids is something that has been justified by the elders based on the discipline of the kid. But when concerning the contemporary scenario, we can observe that most psychologists do not recommend yelling or hitting children.
The time has changed, and the generation is different from the former. Therefore, we need to find out modern ways on how to discipline a child without yelling or hitting.
So, how to discipline a child without yelling or hitting? Instead of yelling or hitting, there are many ways to control your kids. Most importantly, you must set clear rules and guidelines at home and school. Further, there should be consequences, and if your child misbehaves, he or she must face those consequences. Giving them a prior warning and giving them time out when they do a bad thing are also good strategies to discipline your kid without yelling or hitting.
Moreover, you can reward their good behaviors and spend some time with them by giving your full attention to them. This will make them satisfied and prevent them from miss behaving.
This will be a comprehensive post that covers all the relevant information. Therefore, I have listed the topics I discuss below. Please, feel free to jump straight to the section you want by clicking on the topic.
Let’s get started!
Table of Contents
Why do children misbehave?
There may be occasions for every child to misbehave or not follow rules. It is natural, and as parents or teachers, you need to identify why they misbehave. Then you will be able to figure out their situation and reasons.
- Lack of tolerance
In simpler consideration, children will misbehave when they are tired, bored, lonely, hungry, or angry. Like adults, children do not have the tolerance to endure these things, and they easily misbehave in these situations.
- Communication problems
When there are communication problems and when your child cannot understand your expectations, they won’t follow your orders and misbehave. This is one of the most common reasons that are behind the bad behavior of preschoolers and toddlers.
In addition, misbehavior occurs when children try to test the rules and experiment with what they learned. Children are learning things at a fast rate, and they are always trying to show them off.
- Attention seeking
Children need attention, and sometimes they misbehave to take the attention of others. And also, when adults have irritating behaviors, children easily imitate them.
During childhood, children prefer to copy others. Therefore, your kids would watch and imitate your behaviors. So as adults, you need to behave well.
Children misbehave when they need more independence. They need to select their outfit, choose what to eat, and place to go for fun. If you are blocking such little chances of their independence, then they will begin to misbehave easily.
And, children find any changes in their routine as stressful, and it can cause them to misbehave.
Now, you have a better idea about the instances and reasons for your child’s misbehavior and try to find ways to make them behave well and disciplined.
Benefits of well-disciplined child
Discipline is a practice of obeying rules and a particular set of behavior that should follow. Punishment is used to regulate disobedience. Discipline is a skill for kids to become responsible adults in the future. Therefore, a well-disciplined child is an investment for the future.
Child discipline gives them the ability to self-train to control their emotions, words, and behaviors for their betterment as well as others. Then, before understanding how to discipline a child without yelling or hitting, let’s first focus on the benefits of a well-disciplined child.
- Easy to handle
A well-disciplined child is easy to handle as discipline teaches them to manage their emotions. It allows a kid to control himself and controls his emotions before getting into trouble.
Therefore, a well-disciplined child is easy to handle since they don’t make trouble often.
- Keeps kids safe
One of the major goals of child discipline is to keep them safe. Therefore a well-disciplined kid is safer than other kids since he knows precautions to safety.
As an example, a well-disciplined kid crosses the road after looking both ways and obeying signals. It makes him safe from harm.
- Save your time
A child with discipline will save your time to control and take care of him always. Since you assure that your child is well-disciplined, you can pay attention to your work in a peaceful mind without their disruptions. It makes your time and works more fruitful.
- A peaceful home and school environment
A well-disciplined child creates a peaceful environment around him without misbehaviors. It enhances the connection between parents and children, teacher and students, and as well as between kids.
A peaceful environment with no depression and anxiety will make the path for academic achievements and create a peaceful inner mind for himself and the people around him.
- Good investment for future
A well-disciplined kid is a good investment for the future. Today child is a future adult, and a well-disciplined child is a well-disciplined adult one day. It is good for society and everyone he is around. Discipline will make the success of his professionalism as well.
How to discipline a child without yelling or hitting?
In the misbehavior of children, most of the parents yell and hit them to make them disciplined. However, some parents do this as a habit, and it is not a good way to discipline a child. Yelling and hitting will worsen the problem and will badly affect the child.
Regular yelling and hitting will lead a child to tune you out further. And it will affect the mentality of kids as well as their physical balance.
Since it’s the nature of kids to misbehave, and as parents and teachers, you need to understand their mentality and find out how to discipline a child without yelling or hitting.
Here are some simple ways you can follow.
1. Set rules, limits, and boundaries
Instead of yelling and hitting, you can establish clear rules and limits for your child since his childhood and make them follow. You can display a list of household rules as well as classroom rules in the house and at school.
Make a habit of following rules. When they are adapted to follow the rules since their childhood, there won’t be a need for a yell or a hit.
When answering how to discipline a child without yelling or hitting, one of the best ways you can use is time-out. It is an effective way to calm down your kid and give a chance to rethink their misbehavior.
When they are removed from the situation, they will think about the incidents better and begin to understand not to behave like that again. It will make them improve their emotions, endure things, follow orders, and discipline.
3. Make the child aware of the negative consequences of misbehavior
Make your child understand the negative consequences that may occur through his misbehavior and breaking the rules. Use a better time to discuss them with him, such as a situation where he suffered through his misbehavior.
Then, make him off about the outcome he will get by breaking rules and choosing his behavior instead of yelling or hitting. As an example, let him know that he won’t get a chance to watch television if he does not complete his homework.
4. Offer rewards for disciplined manners
Suppose there are negative consequences for breaking the rules and misbehaviors. In that case, there should be positive consequences too for following rules with discipline.
Appreciate him for his good discipline and motivation to behave well. You can offer some simple rewards such as sticker systems for good discipline, chocolates, doing things he likes, etc.
5. Always give them attention
Giving attention is the best way to answer how to discipline a child without yelling or hitting. Kids are always seeking attention, and when your attention is lost, they begin to misbehave to take even the negative attention of you.
Therefore, understand your kid and try to make time for them in your busy schedule. Spend even 10-15 minutes per day to do some things they love to do, like gaming or reading stories.
6. Offer warnings when needed.
Instead of yelling and hitting, you can warn your child when they do not listen and break the rules. Use an appropriate firm and clear tone of warning, which will make them aware of the outcome of their misbehavior.
You can use the “if…then” phrase for this. As an example, “if you throw away your toys, then I will collect all of them and lock them in the cupboard.”
7. Listen to the story of the child.
As a way on how to discipline a child without yelling or hitting, listening to their stories and the reasons they tell can be used. Help them to solve the problem after listening to them.
Observe the times they misbehave with no discipline, such as times they were jealous or seeking attention. Then discuss it with your child and listen to their feelings and try to find out solutions together.
How do you get a stubborn child to listen?
Kids have a mind full of things to explore, and their priorities are different from adults. Mostly, they do not prefer to listen as they highly value their freedom. Due to the high curiosity, kids break the rules and do not listen to their parents.
When your child is too stubborn, it will be difficult to engage with him since he does not listen and cooperate.
Try these tricks and see if there are any differences in your child and his discipline on listening to you.
- Before talking to your kid, move closer to your child and take his attention to you.
- Observe their activities and thing they like to do and comment on them
- Make eye contact with the child
- Don’t repeat the same thing again
- Use limited but clear words
- Start to talk with understanding his age and his mentality
- Observe matters in his point of view
- Listen to what the child had to say
- Don’t yell or hit your child
- Show them, love
- Get closer to your child as a friend
- Improve your empathy and stay calm
- Set up daily routines and rules in the home and make following them a habit
- Engage in funny activities and things they like with them and, while doing it, talk and make your child listen to you
Can yell at a child cause anxiety?
As we already discussed, yelling is not a good thing for your child. It has a huge psychological impact on them. When you use to yell at your child as a habit, then you can’t imagine the pit you pull your child into.
As a result of your yelling, he will become more stubborn than you can ever control. Yelling is an emotional abuse with insults and verbal put-downs.
Yelling will make children tune out and hard to discipline. Yelling is an expression of anger, and it makes kids physically as well as verbally aggressive. Behavioral problems get worse through yelling, and it goes to his adulthood as well.
An aggressive and stubborn person will be created in the future as a result of your habit of yelling at your kid.
Yelling can change the way of developing the brain of your child, and they begin to attract negative things more quickly than positive things. According to studies, kids with parental verbal abuse show slow progress in developing their brains than other kids.
Your yelling at them makes them feel hurt, sad, scared, and insecure. They will feel loneliness, and it can cause anxiety, depression, and a decrease in self-esteem. This depression and anxiety can lead them to the addiction of drug usage and other destructive activities over time.
Even though you do not think much about it, your yelling can badly affect your child and cause anxiety. Therefore, deeply study how to discipline a child without yelling or hitting and stop yelling at them.
Now you have a clear idea of why kids misbehave and the benefits of a disciplined child. We have thoroughly discussed how to discipline a child without yelling or hitting, and I provided some steps you can follow.
In addition, tricks to make a stubborn child listen to you were identified. Finally, we have discussed whether the yelling causes anxiety. So, deeply study the facts on how to discipline a child without yelling or hitting, and you have to build up a disciplined child who will be an investment for society.
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